Ah Chi, a Mother’s Legacy from Family, with Love

"My inheritance is a belief. I hope that everyone who remembers me, or just met me before, will believe that there are warm-hearted people and wonderful things in this world.”
 

Even if this is the first time you meet this three children’s mom, you can already tell how warm-hearted she is, just like everyone else’s mom.  Sweet-natured, this young mother is still sometimes a bit mischievous and silly.  Whenever we talk about her children and family, she reveals her almost naïve belief which acts like a sudden but warm reminder to us – many people are upholding their beliefs in this world.
 

“I am ah Chi.  If I have to introduce myself in one line, I am a very busy woman, very very busy."
 

With their own career, family and everybody’s expectation to take care of, women always have their hands full.  Ah Chi, though feeling the pressure, does not lose hope.  Whenever work has been too overwhelming and she almost collapses, she will think of how her parents love and believe in her, reminding her to carry on this love. 
 

Currently a mother and wife, ah Chi has many different roles in her life.  Workwise, she is a leader who guides the new generation teammates.  At the same time, she has to keep learning to further equip herself, coping with challenges in the everchanging healthcare industry.  Just like a wonder woman in reality, she simultaneously takes up the roles of a daughter, granddaughter and many people’s example.  “I sometimes feel like I'm kind of schizophrenic. I have so many roles and I have to perform in all of these at one time, without missing any,” she smiles, but there are really times she wants to cry.
 

Ah Chi thinks of her home when at times she almost loses confidence in life.  Home is always the safest place for a woman or a mother.
 

"Having five kids, my parents were stressed out.  We then have our own jobs after we grew up.  Yet what made the seven of us staying in one place, doing the same thing and communicating?  When we ate together at the dining table.  Now that I have grown up, these trifling and lovely scenes are still on my mind.”
 

She believes that the dining table is the most significant symbol of legacy.  “Dining table stands for love and a symbol of legacy.  All the family members leave work aside, eating together or just sitting together, chatting about either crucial or trivial things in life.  We share love, good or bad moments and food at the dinner table.”  Her eldest daughter Ariel agreed and reconfirmed ah Chi’s idea, “Home is my favourite place, I feel peaceful at home.  I can play with my sister, draw pictures and play piano.  I am so grateful that my dad and mom gave me a sister who accompanies me, whether I am happy or not, and we have small talks.  Enjoying meals together is the greatest time we have.”  Like mother like daughter, they both concur that the dining table is of the utmost significance. 
 

Ah Chi prefers to take her infant to the dining table whenever it’s a family meal.  She wants to share the delightful moments with the baby even if he/she feeds on different food.  Later when the baby can eat on his/her own, she insists on eating the same stuff with the baby.  “The food taste is lighter, but I want all of us to eat together, not separately.  The adults might feed the kids first and then come back to chitchat, if that sounds easier.  But I don’t the same, I am in my own home.  That’s how I teach my children now, we are members of the same family and they are equal to us.” 
 

The three kids’ mom wants to pass on a belief and a kind of trust to her children through her persistent efforts.  “My parents showed me their trust when I was a child.  They didn’t stuff my bowl with food when we ate together, believing that I was able to take care of myself.  It sounds like something minor, but the trust and love there is tremendous.  I learned a lot from them and I want to treat my children in the same way.  I want them to understand that in our daily life, anything from routine eating to crucial life decisions, I am sure that they can cope with it.”
 

We can feel that ah Chi’s love and trust to this world stems from her family.  “I trust my parents too, though sometimes I felt a bit odd about their decisions.  Looking back, it could be a generation gap.  Sometimes in a quiet night, I would think of my mom and she definitely had a reason for her decision.  Anyhow, I believe in her and I respect her.”  
 

Ah Chi learns how to better pass on love as she gets older, extending it to people she doesn’t even know, such as patients she encounters at work or unreasonable people.  “They might be very unreasonable, but I now understand that they are also suffering and I am able to bear with them.  I want to pass on an attitude of tolerance and inclusiveness to my children.  Let there be less hatred or complaint in this world.  If we only focus on negativeness, we might only find unhappiness and destruction at the end.  I want my children to learn to appreciate our world and believe that everything is beautiful.”
 

Is our world so perfect as she expects?  How to prevent ourselves from getting hurt after giving so much?  “I don’t think anyone on this planet will deliberately hurt others, I am serious.  If somebody hurts me, I definitely will feel the pain, but I can cope with it.  But if I were going to be (too) protective, I would have set a barrier and couldn’t have passed on love, the approach of acceptance and inclusiveness.”  Ah Chi’s love grows nonstop especially after she has become a mom.  She is simply happy to be busy, going home for a light meal is already her great enjoyment.  “I am easily satisfied with basic necessities of life.  I want to share with others and pass on the love and trust inherited from my family.  I will probably think alike after twenty or thirty years.”

Interview by：Ivy Cheung and Alice Lee

Photography：Charles Wan