Protecting Your Family from Stalking Threats

How would you feel if no matter where you go—whether to work, a restaurant, a park, or even to a friend's house—someone is always watching or following you? In situations like this, most people feel threatened. If a person has ever made you feel this way, there's a good chance you've been stalked.

Facts about stalking threats
Stalking occurs when a person repeatedly harasses or engages in conduct that causes another person to fear for his or her safety. A stalker can be someone you know or someone that you've never met before. This crime occurs when a stalker follows, communicates with either directly or indirectly, monitors a frequented location, or engages in any other type of behavior that causes a person to have fear.

Stalking crimes are more common than many people think, and though stalking threats more commonly occur against women, there are a large number of stalking crimes committed against men each year. In fact, studies have shown that 1 out of every 12 women will be stalked during her lifetime 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during his lifetime.¹ The same studies also revealed that most cases of stalking last an average of 1.8 years. However, the effects of such a crime can last much longer.

How to help protect yourself from a stalker

Educate yourself
Learn about stalking laws in your state. In recent years, more laws have been enacted to help protect stalking victims. Know your rights as the victim. It will help you protect yourself.

Learn self-defense
Self-defense classes will show you some basic techniques for protecting yourself. Such a class may not help you face a violent stalker, but it may give you more confidence that you can respond if threatened.

Protect private information
Keeping personal information out of the hands of a potential stalker is critical. If they do not know who you are or where to find you, they cannot stalk you. Here are some things you can do:

• Use a private post office box for all of your correspondence. Print it on your checks and driver's license instead of your residential address. The residential address of a post office box holder is generally kept confidential.
• Get an unpublished phone number and make sure your information is removed from both directory assistance (411) and the phone book. Do not print your phone number on your checks. When you need to provide a phone number, use your work number.
• Block caller ID. Called "complete blocking" or "per line blocking," this ensures that your phone number is not disclosed when you make calls from your home.
• Do not use your middle initial. A middle initial can help differentiate someone with a common name. If you want to blend in with the crowd, don't give out this information.
• Protect your social security number. It is the key to your personal information. Do not have it pre-printed on your checks. Only give it out if required and always ask why it is needed. If you suspect that someone has unauthorized knowledge of your SSN, contact the Social Security Administration.
• Avoid entering personal information into online directories that are not secure.
• Be aware that certain government agency records are public. Such agencies include the county or township assessors, county recorder, DMV and business licenses. Make sure you ask each agency about confidentiality and provide only required information.

When relationships go bad
Many stalking cases arise when a relationship has come to an end and a person you once cared for tries to force their way back into your life. Such situations can be very difficult, but it is important to make sure you tell the individual that the relationship is over. Use precise, clear language. Do not worry about hurting his or her feelings. Being very clear up front may help you avoid a prolonged, and potentially bitter, stalking case.

If you or someone in your family is being stalked
If you or someone in your family is being stalked, don't hesitate to take action to protect yourself and your loved ones.

• Contact the authorities and let them know you are being stalked. Even if you do not intent to prosecute, it may be important to have your complaint on record.
• Document instances in which the stalker makes contact with you. Keep cards, notes, email correspondence and answering machine messages. Log the dates and times of contact. Also be sure to document dates and times of contact with law enforcement.
• Inform others of your situation. Tell your friends, family, employer, co-workers, and neighbors that information about you should be held in confidence. Alert them to be suspicious of people who ask questions about you.
• If you receive harassing phone calls, do your best to screen your calls. Put a beep tone on your line to make callers think you're taping calls. If you receive harassing email, install filters to block items sent to you from the offending party.
• Lock your doors as soon as you enter your home. Try to avoid going anywhere alone.
• Get a restraining order. If you have been physically threatened or feel you are in danger, you can legally force the stalker to stay away from you. If the stalker does not follow the order, he or she can be arrested.
• Carry pepper spray (if legal in your area) and a cell phone just in case your stalker approaches you and becomes violent.